My magnificent Father in his flying machine

And a Happy Father's Day to all the Dads and Granddads

Perfecting Equilibrium Volume Five, Issue 15

Up, down, flying around
Looping the loop and defying the ground
And they're all frightfully keen
Those magnificent men in their flying machines
They can fly upside down with their feet in the air
They don't think of danger. They really don't care
Newton would think he had made a mistake
To see those young men and the chances they take

The Sunday Reader, June 21, 2026

Tony Feola enlisted in the US Navy the day he turned 17. A month later the Japanese surrendered and World War II ended.

For the rest of his life Tony told anyone and everyone that the Japanese surrendered rather than face him in battle.

After his short stint as a seaman Tony worked as a diesel mechanic, and then entered the home building trades, soon becoming a master floor layer. He found the business side of construction more interesting, however, and founded two companies. Twilight Homes and Legend Estates built hundreds of residences in Deer Park, Brookhaven and surrounding Long Island towns during the 60s, 70s and 80s, most of which are still home to Long Islanders today.

Tony always had a fierce interest in flying. He earned a private pilot’s license, reconditioned a biplane, then went through a series of single-wing planes culminating in a Navion.  As his family grew he gave up direct ownership of planes, but continued to fly rentals and trainers into his 80s.

He never lost his fascination for the sea. He taught generations of children to fish, and built a house on Smith Creek in Hampton Bays. He spent the 70s and 80s prowling Shinnecock Bay in a 15-foot open skiff he dubbed “El Tub” as the scourge of fluke, flounder and porgies.

Tony has been gone for a decade. Still miss you every day, Pop. Still read things and think I’ll have to tell Pop.

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I’ve never been much for titles, though I’ve had a bunch. But there are a handful I have worn with pride, such as sergeant in the US Army. I’ve always said that there is no greater title than father, but these days I find myself partial to Lolo, which is Filipino for grandfather, and what my grandsons call me.

A few years or so ago the Powers That Be decided that Number One Grandchild Jameson was old enough to ride in my convertible with the top down since he was about to turn six years old.

Strapped into his booster seat in the back, he ignored the family members snapping his picture and looked around the roofless Camaro in that level of seriousness only available to young children and said Lolo? Why your car don’t got a lid?

We started rolling down the street.

Lolo? The wind is tickling my hair!

He’s a few years older now — but still in single digits — and even more serious. He’s scrapping against five feet already, and no longer needs a booster seat in the back of the Camaro. He’s very serious as he slips on sunglasses…but I can still hear him giggling as the wind tickles his hair as we drive around town with the top down.

I have been blessed for the last decade to have a day every week taking care of my grandsons. Boyz Club went half a decade with Jameson until he started school; these past four years Boyz Club is Julian every week, and Jameson on school holidays. Julian likes to be called JuJuBear; he calls his brother Bubba, and he calls me Lolo. Every day it doesn’t rain we walk to a beautiful little local forested park with a playground, which both boys love.

JamieBug is full of thoughtful questions. JujuBear is full of very certain opinions about the world and how it works, which he explains to me as we walk to the park and back. Here are some things I learned from the wisdom of the Great Western Philosopher JuJuBear, Age Four:

Lolo, there are a lot of trees at the park today

These trees are very high. VERY high. There are birds up there. They are laying eggs.

Lolo, bird poop is White and Yucky and DISGUSTING.

(A few weeks before his fourth birthday) Last week when Bubba was FOUR he mowed the lawn. It was his job. (Bubba is 8.)

When I’m four I’m gonna have a job.

I’m a kid now, but when I was a baby I was small and I didn’t walk and I had to crawl. That was a long time ago…last week.

(The following week)(Shows me his elbow)I have a boo-boo on my arm.

Oh no! How did you get hurt?

I don’t know. It was a long time ago.

Last week?

No, a LONG time. 11 years.

This park is turning into a desert

Sometimes Bubba cries when I clean up. I don’t like when Bubba cries. It makes it hard to clean up.

(Looking at an ant hill) That volcano is yucky. I’m not going to eat it.

When we get to the house will we take a nap?

Yes, after lunch

I wish I didn’t have to take a nap…but naps are how you grow up big and strong! Daddy doesn’t take naps. Daddy goes to sleep late. Very late. Very VERY late. Daddy is not going to grow up big and strong. Daddy sleeps very Very VERY late.

(After a late dropoff when his dad started driving to his office and had to double back) My Daddy drove his car the WRONG WAY for NO REASON. I don’t know why. He wanted a SANDWICH.

I miss my bubba.

How did that squirrel get up in that tree?

He climbed

How? Squirrels don’t have claws

Maybe they do. I don’t know. I’ve never shaken hands with a squirrel

Me either

Lolo, there are a lot of rocks at the park today

(On a day with a lot of acorns covering the ground) This sidewalk is crunchy. Who put all these peanuts here?

And I said to myself what a wonderful world. Life is good. And Happy Father’s Day to all you fathers, and grandfathers and Lolos.